Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Blogging Haven of Obedience: Chapter Two

Our prediction for chapter two is immediately defenestrated when the real heroine of the story is introduced- Natalie, a “tall, slim and typically cool English blonde.” It is clear Natalie is the main character, for at least we know her hair colour. Though what is meant by “typically cool English blonde” is so unclear, that even Google is confused.

 Showing everything from these...

To this.

Though, we can safely assume that she has big boobs.

In this chapter we learn that there is actually some form of story line, however superficial. We learn that Natalie is the best friend of Jan, she runs a successful magazine for high-powered business women, and is unlucky in love. However, despite what that previous sentence may make it sound like, the salad Natalie eats for dinner gets more of a description than she does. We also learn that our ‘heroine’ likes to sit in her own self-misery, pining after lost friends, drinking large quantities of wine and eating well described salad- presumably without cutlery. Jan on the other hand, is having a roaring social life as a submissive, with every night for two months being filled with orgy parties.

Natalie manages to squeeze in a meeting with her friend to eat some pasta we learn more about than the two of them combined. Natalie notices that Jan is “tense”, “strained”, “panic-stricken”, “strange” “completely different” and “looking really well”. One of these things doesn’t seem to match up. Nevertheless, Natalie demonstrates her ability to absorb only one sixth of her own thoughts and endeavours to discover Jan’s secret. We can only conclude that Natalie is a disturbed individual, because she wants to see the same changes in herself. Natalie pries from Jan that it all had something to do with her mysterious weekend away, and quickly wishes to learn more.

Jan remains elusive, not wishing to let Natalie know too much about this secret society, and finally admits that she simply isn’t allowed to tell Natalie, and that you can only learn about it through word-of-mouth. Natalie comes to the conclusion that it must be a business seminar and is secretive because it is for the “incredibly fit”. Clearly Natalie is not only a disturbed individual, but dangerously stupid.

“It’s a seminar in sex” Jan needs to tell her as bluntly and straightforwardly as possible, clearly beating around the bush would make her late for the orgy. Natalie is shocked, appalled and totally interested by the concept of a sex seminar. Natalie is shocked, appalled and totally interested by the fact that Jan is now a submissive. Natalie is shocked, appalled and totally interested by the fact that guests of The Haven are ‘punished’. Natalie also makes it clear that she “Isn’t naïve” and “couldn’t imagine any sexual situation where she wouldn’t be able to cope”. Either Natalie doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘naïve’, or desperately lacks an imagination. Right now, combine the below images into a sexual scenario:

Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack

Houdini Locking Steel Cock Chastity

Prince's Wand

 Sexy Sadist Cock Ring

 "The Cannon"

 The Extreme Anal Spreader

 "The Plow"

 Zeus Electric Urethral Sound Kit

Can you begin to fathom a scenario you mightn’t be able to cope with? Do all possible scenarios end up with you in the ICU?

The two girls finish their meal and make their goodbyes, so engrossed in their conversation they don’t even pause to pay for their highly detailed pasta. The chapter ends with Natalie’s arousal at the idea of being dominated, and the readers feeling hungry for Italian.

New Vocab:
Delicious hot liquid pleasure: Semen?


Plot Holes:
The Haven is only advertised by word of mouth, but the guests are forbidden to talk about it.

Prediction for Chapter Three:
Natalie goes to The Haven, where she finds it difficult to cope and humiliating, yet strangely arousing.

We'd like to give a thank/damn you to Cracked.com for compiling not just one, but multiple lists of the most horrific sex toys that actually exist. Read about some here and here.

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